Forever Hold Your Peace
by TheRightWrongs
Summary: When it came time to toast Jo shouted "TO THE CRAZY THINGS LOVE MAKES US DO!" I downed my glass in one sip. I thought hard about what Jo had said. The crazy things that love makes us do. Does letting the man you love marry another woman count?
1. Case Closed

**AN: A Big Time Rush fic half inspired by Taylor Swift and half inspired by a dream I had.**

I sat with the ivory card clutched in my hand. I don't know when the tears started but it seemed as if there was no end in sight. I kept reading the first line in my mind.

_Mr. and Mrs. Hank Dalloway  
request the honor of your presence at the marriage of their daughter  
Clarissa Elizabeth Dalloway  
to  
Logan Henry Mitchell  
son of Dr. and Mrs. Andrew Mitchell_

I couldn't get through the rest of because my brain was on a constant loop of that one sentence. I could feel myself folding into myself until my phone jarred me out of it. The screen flashed 1 new message. I clicked okay to read it and it was from Jo.

_Did you get anything from Logan in the mail today?_

I hesitated on my reply. I didn't want to get her worried about me by saying yes, but by not answering it soon she would be worried anyway. I set my phone down on the coffee table and went to the bathroom to wash my face of the mascara that had no doubt run with my crying. I sat back down on the couch and answered Jo's text with a simple: _Yes :/_

It wasn't too long after that I got a reply. It was also a simple answer: _Skype?_

I nodded to myself while sending a yes reply before settling myself in front of my computer. I logged on and set up my webcam while I waited for Jo to sign in. A few minutes later a window popped up and my best friend Jo Taylor's face was staring back at me.

"Are you okay?" She asked me.

"I guess. I mean it's not like I didn't know it was going to happen sooner or later, I was just banking on later. Much later."

"We were all taken by surprise. Kendall told me that he though Logan might be clinically insane." She said in an attempt to make me laugh.

"Logan is pretty much the sanest one of them all; I guess he's really in love with this girl." I can see Jo's smile take on a defeated frown.

"If it makes you feel any better, no one actually likes her." I couldn't help but to smile at that. There was a short pause before I spoke again.

"I don't think I'm going to go"

"No! You have to go!" Jo cried giving me her infamous pout.

"Hey I'm not Kendall! That pout doesn't work on me"

"Fine, but in all seriousness, you have to go."

"Give me one good reason why I should go."

"I have plenty of good reasons; Logan is paying for everything, I miss you, the guys miss you, you're still in love with Logan and you'll keep me from going to jail!"

"Jail? How on earth am I keeping you from going to jail by going to this wedding?"

"You remember the Jennifers? Well this girl makes the Jennifers look like America's Sweethearts"

"That bad? Okay fine I'll go and keep you from murdering someone, but this has nothing to do with me 'being in love with Logan'"

"Yay!" Jo began cheering, hand clapping and all.

We disconnected a little while after that. She made me promise that I would go through with attending Logan's wedding, and I made her promise that her and the rest of the guys wouldn't try to mess with Logan's bride. I kind of regretted that promise after Jo's face vanished from my computer screen.

I made my way back to the couch after my laptop was completely shut down. I picked up the invitation and read the rest of the card. I had to tell myself not to cry again when the date was only two weeks from now. Why are they in such a hurry? I asked myself. My mind went crazy coming up with reasons, was she pregnant and they wanted to get married before the baby came? I threw the card back down and ran straight to the bathroom to grab some aspirin. I can't do this to myself right now. I had my chance and I blew it. Case closed.

I spent the week arranging my schedule around the wedding. I sent back my RSVP the very next day and received my plane ticket in the mail soon after. I called Jo to make sure she'd be the one to pick me up at the airport and that it's alright I stayed with her at her apartment. She told me "Of course now shut up and call your cab already! You're going to be late!"

I rolled my eyes while saying goodbye and did as I was told. My taxi arrived 20 minutes later, I instructed the driver to go to JFK and held on for dear life as he sped into traffic. I was able to board my plane fairly easily. I pulled out my IPod and inserted my headphones in for the long journey.

I don't know how long it took me too fall asleep but pretty soon I was awoken by one of the flight attendants. Descent was in 10 minutes.

By 10:20 PM I was inside LAX and could see the blonde head of Jo searching the crowd of deboarding passengers for me. I ran up to her and crushed her in a hug.

"You're here!" She squealed excitedly in my ear.

"I'm here! And I'm exhausted!"

"What already?" She asked puzzled. "Oh yeah time difference! Sorry that's my bad."

We hurried over to the baggage carousel and spotted my luggage making its way to where we stood. I grabbed the first bag while Jo took my second. We chatted the rest of the way out of the airport and too where her car was waiting in front of the terminal.

"You guys have no idea how many times I've had to drive around this place!" Kendall gasped as soon as everything was thrown into the trunk.

"Did the paparazzi follow you guys here?" I asked.

"Not unless you count airport security as the paps," Kendall scoffed.

"I told you to park and that we'd meet you there," Jo said.

"Yeah, but Jo when have we ever known the guys to take the easy way?" I joked.

"Oh how silly of me."

The rest of the ride back to Jo's apartment was spent discussing what I had missed since I moved to New York. Big Time Rush had been signed to their 2rd record deal with Rocque records. They were currently writing for their 5th studio album. Jo had gotten her first record deal 5 years after she moved to LA. Carlos was in talks to create his own comic book series with DC and James had created his own clothing line. Kendall was the captain of a celebrity hockey team that played in charity tournaments. Katie was getting ready to go to college and Ms. Knight had become Mrs. Snyder.

"Wow I missed a lot."

"That's what happens when you don't visit," Kendall joked. Jo hit him in the arm causing him to yelp. "What was that for?"

Jo jerked her head towards where I sat in the back seat. I knew what she meant. I had avoided visiting because I didn't want to face Logan knowing I couldn't have him. Jo understood and now it seems that Kendall had gotten the hint. We rode the rest of the way in silence.

Kendall immediately hopped out of the car as soon as we got to Jo's apartment. He grabbed my two bags out of the trunk with ease and brought them up for me. I thanked him and he gave me a hug before saying goodbye to his girlfriend

I saw the look of sadness he gave me when I tried to smile for him. I guess I'm not as believable an actress as I thought.

**AN: Review? Please? _{lessthanthree}_**


	2. The Crazy Things Love Makes Us Do

**AN: Chapter 2! Enjoy and thanks to everyone for reviewing/alerting/favoriting **

Jo showed me to her guest room where I immediately crashed. My body clock was still running on east coast time. The next day Jo and I decided to stay in and catch up. By 5 o'clock that day my body had adjusted to west coast time like I had never left 3 years ago. By 5 o'clock that day I was ready to see the city I left behind.

Jo called the guys to make dinner plans. We met James and Kendall for Sushi, but Carlos couldn't make it because he was spending time with his girlfriend Stephanie and her parents. The rest of the week flew by like this; Jo and I hanging out during the day and then meeting up with the guys at night. One night Jo and I met up with Stephanie and went dancing. Before I realized it, the day before the wedding was here. That day Jo had confessed to me that everyone was in the wedding party and therefore was required to go to a rehearsal dinner. I was more than ready to stay behind and sulk in private but they talked me into going.

"Camille, come on you have to go! Remember you're supposed to keep me out of jail."

"Yeah besides Logan wants to see you," Carlos added.

"No he doesn't,"

"Yes he does, he's upset that you haven't come to see him sooner actually," James tells me.

"I don't think I can do it," I admit.

"That's not true! You're one of the strongest people I know," Kendall says, "Plus we'll all be there to help you if you need it."

They all look at me expectantly and before I can even think about it properly my mouth spits out the word 'fine'

Jo excitedly shoos the guys out of the guest room so I can change. I take this as my opportunity to wallow in self pity in private. After about five minutes I decide to start getting ready. I grab my robe and exit the room.

"The limo to the church is coming to pick us up in an hour and a half," Jo tells me on my way to the bathroom. I give her a thumb up before closing the bathroom door behind me.

The muffled sounds of some sporting event on TV find its way through the door. I turn on the bath faucet and let it warm up before stepping in. The steaming hot water seems to calm my nerves and I emerge somewhat calmer then when I stepped in.

"Bathrooms free!" I say as I exit and make my way back to the guest room. I open up my suitcase and grab the first dress I packed. I lay out the black dress and get a sick satisfaction out of the fact that the color matches my mood; death.

By the time I'm done getting ready I can hear Jo yelling at the guys like a mother.

"Guys seriously the limo gets here in twenty minutes and none of you are ready yet! Don't make me kick your butts!" I see the guys' looks of half fear, half amusement.

I help her out by slapping each one across the face like my 16 year old self would always do. That made me the happiest I'd been all day as I watched each of them scramble to the bathroom.

"Guys!" Jo yells out once more causing them all to freeze in mid scramble. "The three of you won't fit in there all at once. Kendall, use my bathroom. Carlos you can use my bathroom after Kendall. And James so help me God, be quick about it," she finished sending him into the bathroom.

Carlos sat down obediently while Kendall ran to the master bathroom and James strolled triumphantly into the second bathroom.

"I forgot how powerful the Camille slap was," Jo said hugging me thankfully.

"And I forgot how much of a handful the guys were."

Kendall emerged from the bedroom 10 minutes later and motioned for Carlos to take his turn. He came over to where Jo and I stood by the kitchen window and wrapped his arm around Jo's waist. They didn't notice how my smile took on frown like qualities.

It's not that I was sad that they had each other, it's just that after all the problems they had as teens how were they able to keep it together when Logan and I had one problem and could never get past it. Jo and Kendall seemed to be coming out of their lovey-dovey world and notice me. Quickly I smiled at them so they wouldn't worry about me. I commanded myself to forget about the past and focus on the future, but easier said than done.

Carlos emerged five minutes later and resumed his post on the couch while everyone waited for James. Jo's doorbell rung and we were informed that the limo was there. Kendall went to hurry James along only to be scared when James opened the door as he was about to pound on it. We all laughed at his expense as we walked to the waiting limo outside.

We all settled ourselves into the comfy seats of the black limo in front of Jo's apartment. It wasn't too long before I spotted the chilling champagne. I held it up and the decision was unanimous; hell yes.

James passed around the glasses while Carlos popped the top off. When it came time to toast Jo shouted "TO THE CRAZY THINGS LOVE MAKES US DO!"

I downed my glass in one sip. I thought hard about what Jo had said. The crazy things that love makes us do. Does letting the man you love marry another woman count?

**AN: Review? Please? {lessthanthree}**


	3. Are You Happy?

**AN: Chapter 3 enjoy!**

The rehearsal went off without a hitch. I sat in one of the pews while the minister instructed members of the wedding party to walk up and down the aisle at a certain pace. I sat through the abridged version of the wedding ceremony without wanting to run away in tears; which is quite a victory if I should say so myself.

Logan didn't notice me yet as I hid amongst the many relatives of the bride's family and kept to myself the entire time. Jo found me at the end as we walked to the waiting limos that would take us to dinner.

"Camille?" I hear Logan's shocked voice ring out in the emptying church.

"Logan Hi!"

"When did you get here?" he asked me while keeping me at an arm's distance.

"I got in last Sunday; I've been staying with Jo."

"Sunday? Wow! Why haven't you called?" He asked. I can hear a little hurt in his voice but if this were a contest I'd surely win.

"LoLo, honey! There you are! Oh who is this?" The girl I understood to be his wife-to-be came running up to us.

"Rissa this is an old friend of mine, Camille from the Palm Woods."

"Camille? Oh is this the girl that cheated on you with James?" She asked while looking down on me.

"Yep, that's me," I answer awkwardly.

Clarissa gave me another dirty look before turning to Logan and completely ignoring me. "LoLo my parents are waiting, let's go!" She said grabbing his arm and pulling him towards the door.

"Jo?"

"Yeah?"

"I don't know how much help I'll be in keeping you out of jail. I think I'll be sitting right next to you."

"Come on," Jo laughs. "We can plot her murder after we eat her parents out of their money," She jokes.

We piled into the limo after the guys and headed off to the restaurant where Clarissa's parents had set up the rehearsal dinner party. There were two long tables with about 20 place settings on each end. No one sat down yet as the bride's father has called for everyone's attention so he could make an announcement. I didn't listen as I was too busy trying to ignore Clarissa's giggles that would interrupt her dad's speech.

Finally we were able to take our seats and Jo pointed to a section at the end of the second table. I made a note of how far away it was from Logan and the she-beast— I mean bride to be. Carlos and Kendall joined us while James zoned in on the arguably hottest bridesmaid and worked his charm. Kendall rolled his eyes while explaining to us James's plan for the wedding.

"I think he's watched Wedding Crashers far too many times," Carlos added.

The rest of dinner was spent making fun of each other. It felt good to fall into that routine we had from years ago. After dessert everyone seemed to be going off in their own directions. Carlos had to leave early to visit his girlfriend. James was flirting with the maid of honor just outside the restaurant. The bride's relatives were treating this dinner as a family reunion of sorts leaving Logan to just look on in confusion. I couldn't stop staring at him. That is until I was caught. I looked away awkwardly hoping he hadn't actually noticed.

"I'm going to get some fresh air" I told Jo and Kendall getting up from my chair and making a beeline for the door.

James was still at the front door working his charm on Clarissa's younger sister. I told him I was taking a walk and I'd be back soon and left without waiting for a response. I walked the length of the street and took the first corner I saw. I sat on the dirty sidewalk not caring if my dress got dirty. I held my face in my hands and willed myself not to cry. I thought I had succeeded until I felt a hand on my shoulder.

Whoever it was got elbowed in the chest as a defense mechanism. Upon inspection it was Logan who had followed me outside.

"Logan! What the hell?"

"Gosh Camille has anyone ever told you that you're too violent?" He gasped half angry half joking.

"You should have expected no less from me," I said in annoyance. He looked like he was going to fire back but then shrugged his shoulders.

"So how are you doing?" He asked as if nothing had ever happened. I sated at him for a good 2 minutes before I could compose an answer.

"Good I guess. I just needed some air," We sat on the sidewalk in silence for a good five minutes.

"I'm glad you came. I miss you." He sounded so sincere that I almost felt bad for wanting to skip out. Almost.

"I can't believe you're getting married," I whispered. I was conflicted on whether or not I wanted him to pick up on the sadness in my voice.

"I know, sometimes I can't believe it myself." He told me as he stared picking at the random tufts of grass growing out of the sidewalk curb.

I hadn't expected this answer from him. He looked like he was so excited earlier that I kind of figured that he was one hundred percent for it. His voice sounded so distant and scared.

"Why are you getting married?" I blurted out without thinking. He looked at me surprised by the question. "Sorry, you don't need to answer that." I started to say before he cut me off.

"To be honest it just kind of happened," He said to me. "I'm not saying I don't want to, but Clarissa is awesome and I can see settling down with her. I was never much of a ladies' man as a teenager, but she made me feel good about myself. I feel safe with her."

I'm staring out into the street, watching as cars fly by us; as the drivers go on in their own little world while my own world was crumbling with every word Logan spoke. My trip to get air seemed to be having the opposite effect on me. Every second I spent with Logan was another breath of air sucked from my world. Yet I didn't move because moving would require leaving Logan.

"Are you happy?" I asked. My question caught him off guard as he contemplated his answer.

"I guess," was what he managed to think of. He looked at my with that adorable confused expression he had and I melted. I was transported back in time to when we were 16. I can recall this one time when I had just slapped him for no reason and he had given me the same look. I reached over and pulled his face down to mine and planted a gentle kiss on his lips as an explanation.

The flashback ended and I could still see grown up Logan giving me that same expression. I was dying to mimic my flashback. Instead I cautiously leaned towards him and kissed him on the cheek. He looked even more adorably confused until his phone started ringing in his pocket.

"Clarissa hey…nope just out going for a walk…yeah I'm on my way back right now…love ya too."

After hanging up he gives me one last look and walks away towards the restaurant. I bury my head in my knees and just let myself have a good cry. Why did I even come here I ask myself. I wallow in self pity but not for too long before someone breaks me out of my trance.

"Camille?" Jo's voice fills the silence. I look up at her concerned face and I don't need to say a word before she runs over to help me up. "The guys are waiting by the limo for us. We're going home now."

This is why Jo is my best friend, she doesn't ask questions because in an instant she knows exactly what I need, and at this moment what I need to get away.

**AN: Not done yet. Review? Please?**


	4. I'm Truly Sorry

**AN: I'm amazed at the response and I'm stoked that you guys are enjoying this as much as me. Chapter 4 Enjoy!**

We rode back to Jo's in complete silence. Everyone kept shooting me worried looks but after a while I just stopped looking. Eventually when we got to the house I had to tell everyone that I would be okay. They looked like they were ready to kill someone.

"What happened though Cam?" James asked me as we stood outside of Jo's apartment.

"Logan and I just talked. Nothing happened, please don't worry about me." They still looked worried but seemed to drop the subject.

"Alright well it's getting late and we need to be up early tomorrow. James and Kendall can share the guest room—" Jo spoke only to be interrupted by the boys.

"I am not sharing a bed with Kendall!" James shouted out horrified.

"I never said you had to share the bed, there is a pullout bed in the closet of the guest room. One of you can use that."

"I call the regular bed!" Kendall states before James can open his mouth to argue and sticking out his tongue for immature emphasis. Jo giggles at her boyfriend while rolling her eyes and unlocking the door to let everyone in.

"Okay so I guess since the guys are taking my room I get the couch?" I asked jokingly.

"Of course I'm going to keep my queen sized bed all for myself and make my best friend sleep on the couch." She joked back.

"Let me just get some PJs out of my suitcase," I say pushing James out of my way who was trying to get into the guest room first to steal the bed from Kendall. I grab the first pair of shorts I come across and a tank. By now Kendall and James were bickering about who got the bed again.

"Guys shut up! It's almost midnight and my neighbors probably don't appreciate the yelling. James the extra bed is in the closet, get it out now. Kendall if I so much as hear you gloat about getting the bigger bed I'm cutting you off." Kendall's terrified face was absolutely comical as he quietly sat down on the bed. James was trying his best not to laugh as he opened the closet door.

I leave the room to go change in the bathroom. I hear both boys scrambling to set the second bed up while Jo is probably still glaring at them. After washing of my makeup and tying my hair back I go back to the guest room to put my clothes away. The door is closed so I knock softly. James comes to the door to let me in. he had already changed into a pair of green flannel pajama bottoms.

"Where's Kendall?" I asked zipping my suitcase open. James gave me a pointed look while jerking his head in the direction of Jo's room.

"He's changing and bidding his lady love a good night," he explained. "His words not mine." He continued taking a seat on his bed.

"Say no more," I said laughing slightly.

"Have a seat," James said patting the edge of bed next to him. I oblige and sit where he had patted.

"So I know you said you were fine and not to worry but I have to know; what happened back there?" He asked looking at me sadly.

"You mean before or after Clarissa pegged me as the girl who cheated on Logan?" I sigh.

"Wait! You cheated on him? When?"

"James!" I say shocked.

"What?" He asks clearly haven forgotten the events from 4 years ago. I watch as he connects the dots. "I thought he forgave you for that?"

"He did, but it didn't change the fact that I had cheated. That's why we never dated after that."

"Are you sure because I recall a few times after that happened when I walked in on some heated make out sessions," He said raising his eyebrows in a suggestive way.

"Yeah those were the good times. But he still never called me his girlfriend after that and eventually those make out sessions ended when he met that new girl Kara."

"Right…her, gotcha. So what happened after Clarissa said that?"

"We just stood there awkwardly for a few seconds before Clarissa dragged 'LoLo' away for something," I said putting every ounce of contempt I had for her into my voice that James shuddered in fear.

"Then what happened?" he pressed.

"Well the dinner went well until the end when I couldn't stop staring at him and that fiancé of his," I decided that I didn't want to say her name ever again. "He looked kind of bored and clueless sitting with her family. But he caught me looking so I needed to get out. I didn't want it make it weird for us…" I continued my story while James listened with concern.

"Wait! You kissed him!"

"Yes" I answer sheepishly. "But then she called and he left and not too long after that Jo found me and we all came home."

"Boy is Logan lucky we didn't know about this before we decided to spend the night here," I looked at him confused. "The guys and I still live together but because Logan had some family flying in just for the wedding we offered our rooms up so they didn't have to find a hotel for one night only," Now I understood. "I'm sorry Cam; if it makes you feel better I always thought it would be you that Logan would marry."

"Why do you say that?" I ask against my better judgment.

"Not to rehash the whole us kissing thing but Logan by nature is not a violent person,, and the fact that he got this close," James demonstrates by holding his index and thumb an inch apart "to hitting me. I just thought it meant something."

"Thanks I guess," I say getting up from the bed. I walk over to the door while James follows me. "Goodnight James" I say grabbing the doorknob.

I turn around to be engulfed in a hug. "I'm truly sorry," James whispers and kisses the top of my head before letting me go. I give him my most sincere of smiles before opening the door fully.

Kendall trips over himself as the door disappears from where he had his ear attached to it. I'm torn between laughing hysterically and scolding him for eavesdropping. I settle with the laughter and say goodnight.

"Wait!" He shouts at me. I turn around and see him with arms outstretched. I walk over to where he stood and allowed him to hug me and hugged him back relishing in the comfort that my friends were giving me.

**AN: There should be at least one more chapter left, maybe 2 depending on how far I let my imagination wander. Review? Please? {lessthanthree}**


	5. Stop, Please Just Stop

**AN: You guys hate me don't you, don't you? I'm really sorry but I get distracted easily so again I will apologize. Here's the last chapter and if it makes you feel any better it's almost 4,000 words long so at least it's "jam-packed" right? **

Jo put her arm around my shoulders and steered me towards her bedroom.

"We need to talk," She said as soon as her door was shut.

"How much did you hear?"

"All of it," Jo answered unapologetically.

"What would you like to know then?"

"I want to know what your plan is to stop it!"

"The wedding?"

"YES! You have to have thought of something right?" Jo cried. I looked at her as I formulated my answer

"Yes, but I don't think you'll like it."

"Why? Does it involve kidnapping her because I want to be very clear about something? I have no problem with getting rid of 'Rissa' in any way shape or form that doesn't involve murder of course."

"No. I'm going to prove all my critics wrong and put on the best performance of my life. I will watch the man of my dreams marry the woman of his." Jo's face fell after revealing my master plan.

"You don't even want to try?" Jo asked sadly. I paused for moment, the sadness in her voice catching me off guard.

"It's not that I don't want to try, it's just that…it hurts."

"It hurts?" Jo asked concerned as she began pulling down the sheets on her bed. "How?"

"Think about it this way. Had this been Kendall, and he was marrying someone else. You get invited to the wedding and before the wedding even happens you kiss Kendall. But at the end of the day when he says I love you, it's not to you. Would you still try to stop the wedding?" I could see Jo taking in what I said and trying to put herself in my shoes. I could see her eyes light up at every argument she tried to come up with until finally they just glossed over with tears as she admitted what I had been feeling.

"I would never try to get in the way of Kendall's happiness." Jo answered trying to sniffle away the tears.

"Exactly, as much as I've dreamed about how I would stop the wedding and get Logan back, I know that it just can't happen when he's already happy. Don't get me wrong, since I found out he was getting married not one day has gone by when I haven't thought about winning him back. When I haven't dreamed of the many "Speak now or forever hold your peaces" I interrupted. Or Logan seeking me out and admitting he's madly in love and wants me back. Just so many scenarios that I now know will never happen. Logan loves Clarissa, they are getting married in the morning, and I can't do anything about it."

Jo looked beside herself as she climbed into her side of the bed. "I guess you're right, you're a better woman than me. I don't think I could ever go to Kendall's wedding to another woman and put on a happy face."

As much as it pained me to hear the defeat in her voice, I smiled and fought to keep my tears from coming to the surface. "At least I'll have my best friend there to keep me sane." Jo gave me a half smile before turning off her bedside lamp and uttering a quiet "Goodnight Camille."

As if on cue, I fell into a restless sleep filled with those dreams I told Jo about earlier. Multiple snippets of different situations filled my subconscious beginning with Logan dragging me by the hand out of the church pew and kissing me for everyone to see, to me barging up to the alter and punching Clarissa square in the mouth, to Logan finding me as I walked into the church and spilling his feelings to me; all these scenarios ending with the same result, Logan and I living happily ever after. It wasn't until towards the end that they took a turn for the worst.

One in particular where I stand up in the middle of the vows, everyone is staring at me waiting to see what's going to happen. I'm opening my mouth to speak, to plead to Logan not to marry this girl because I was the one who loved him. But my voice wasn't on my side in this dream; instead I let out an inaudible squeak and ran straight for the doors. I'm gasping for air on the church steps when all of a sudden the doors burst open and I look into the church just in time to see the minister proclaim them husband and wife. He instructs them to kiss and my voice decides to come back just as I'm crying. I see Logan throw me a look of pity before taking Clarissa in his arms and kissing her for his world to see.

That's where the dream ends as Jo's alarm clock is bringing me back to reality. Jo is groaning as she reaches over to put an end to the sleep disrupter. She sighs as she stays in place in the bed.

"I guess today's the day right?" She whispers to me.

"I guess so," I sigh as I roll myself out of bed. We both make our way to the kitchen and start putting together a quick breakfast. Almost like magic Kendall and James emerge from the guest bedroom as soon as the coffee is done brewing.

"Ah, nice of you boys to join us," Jo joked as Kendall hobbled over to her in his half asleep state. He bent over to give her a quick kiss before making a beeline for the coffee pot.

James just sat down at the table and began fussing with his bed head. Kendall poured himself a cup of coffee as well as one for James. He placed it in front of him and walked back over to where Jo and I stood waiting for the toast to be done.

"Have you guys heard from Carlos?" Jo asked as she placed two more slices of bread into the toaster.

"He just texted us, he should be here in half an hour with James' and my tux, he just has to take Steph to pick up her dress from the tailor, and then they'll be on their way here."

"Okay then James here's your breakfast, eat quickly and then take your shower." Jo said tossing him the two pieces of bread onto a napkin and handing it to James.

"Bossy" James gasped while trying to look scandalized but failing when a yawn escaped his lips.

"We don't need another New Years incident like last year, now just do as I say," Jo explained.

"Why? What happened last year?" I asked.

"Well," Kendall started to explain

"I DON'T WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT!" James shouted before shoving the piece of toast in his mouth. We all watched as he hurriedly ate his breakfast and sprinted to the bathroom.

"So is someone going to tell me what happened last year?" I asked once again.

"WE DO NOT SPEAK OF IT!" James yelled through the door before the running water could drown him out.

"Touchy touchy" I laughed before taking his seat. "Alright so what's the game plan?"

"The limo will be here to take us to the church at 10:30, the ceremony starts at 11, after that we have to go take pictures with the rest of the wedding party at some park, and then the reception starts at 2 and then when it ends; we can all leave this nightmare." Jo said

"Sounds awesome," I deadpanned. She gave me a concerned look and I smiled for her benefit. I know I said I wouldn't do anything to stop the wedding but I never said I was going to enjoy it. We finished the time until the limo arrived by avoiding the elephant in the room. A few minutes before the limo was due to arrive Carlos arrived with his girlfriend. More small talk took place and I was grateful to see that both Carlos and Stephanie knew better than to mention the wedding reminding yet again what wonderful friends I have here.

The limo beeped 3 times announcing its arrival and everyone hurried out the door pilling into its elongated back seat. James, who was the last to get into the car, spotted the bottle of chilling champagne and offered everyone a toast before the ceremony.

"Isn't it a little early for champagne?" Kendall asked.

"It's just a little to calm everyone's' nerves." James reasoned popping the top off and pouring himself a glass.

"Sure why not, we might as well have a little fun before this funeral right?" Stephanie joked grabbing a glass for herself.

"That's the spirit!" I said following suit with Stephanie. Soon the bottle was near empty as the eight of us held our glasses up for the toast. "So what are we toasting again?"

"Good point…" James sighed before downing his glass. I couldn't help but laugh at that before taking a sip of my own glass.

We arrived at the church to see dozens of people spilling into the entrance. Because the guys and Jo were in the wedding party that left Steph and me to fend for ourselves. We locked arms and squeezed our way through what looked to be Clarissa's entire family trying to snap photos before the ceremony. The pews were filling up rather quickly so we rushed to find a seat on the groom's designated side of the church. We found one right in the middle and quickly took them. I ended up getting the seat at the very end of our pew and was grateful that I wouldn't have to sit next to one of Logan's relatives that he never introduced me to. I could feel myself going down a bad path with that train of thought. I shook myself of the thought and told myself to focus on the positive; Logan is happy, and that's what really matters. If he's happy then I should be happy, even if his happiness doesn't involve me.

During my internal pep talk the church seemed to have filled to the brim as everyone wished for the ceremony to begin. The doors to the minister's chambers opened up and a few men walked out, including Logan himself. I felt the world fall away and the only thing that now existed was him. I drank in the sight of him in his tux with the pale pink tie and his mesmerizing timid smile. I could see him getting nervous as soon as he turned his attention to the crowd of people in the church pews waiting to watch him get married, or rather almost everyone waiting for him to get married.

I could vaguely feel Stephanie grabbing my hand for support as the organist began the wedding march. I tore myself away from Logan's excited face to watch my friend's walking down the aisle in pairs. First Carlos and someone I recognized as Clarissa's sister, then James with a woman I didn't remember from the night before. Then Jo and Kendall walking arm and arm up to the altar, I felt a small pang of jealousy as I watched them giggling to each other over some unheard joke between them.

All at once everyone stood up as the organist switched up the wedding march specifically for the Bride's entrance. She walked into the room wearing what looked to be the poufy dress known to man. Her veil beautifully hid her smug face as she walked terribly slowly up to the altar.

Okay so maybe I'm being mean but I think I'm allowed that now. She finally made it up to the altar, her dad took her hand and placed it in Logan's before walking away to sit down. Glancing at my watch I began the countdown until this heartbreaking day was over. Just a few hours I told myself. Tomorrow I would be spending my last day here and then heading back to New York and getting back to my life without Logan. It'll be just like he never even existed.

I couldn't bring myself to give the wedding my full attention; instead I just drifted off to the many day dreams of Logan and me running off together. About halfway through those day dreams weren't helping and I could feel my resolve dissolving with each word the minister spoke floating its way into my head. Everybody seemed to be engrossed in the proceedings and I saw the opportunity to escape. So I took it. I excused myself when no one was looking and bolted like there was no tomorrow.

I don't think anyone saw my theatrics but I ran anyway. As soon as my feet hit cement the heels were off and I was running as far as I could. People like to say you can't run from your problems but I can sure as hell try.

No one noticed the girl leaving the church in the middle of the ceremony. No one noticed the fake smiles plastered on half of the wedding party and no one sure as hell noticed Logan's faltering smile as the ceremony dragged on and on.

"Before we get to the vows, if there is anyone present who believes that these two should not be wed, speak now or forever hold your peace." The minister spoke to the entire congregation.

Logan looked out into the assembled crowd of his loved ones, drinking in their stony expressions and the strength of the minister's words. There was a part of him hoping that someone would stand up and speak the words that the voice in his head seemed to be shouting for the past 12 hours. No one stood up, no one spoke, every one held their peace. His heart sank when he realized that he had been hoping Camille would pop up out of nowhere and object. His heart sank even further when he couldn't find her anywhere in the pews.

His eyes continued to scan the entire church for those warm chestnut eyes that he used to picture in his mind for hours on end. The minister spoke again calling for them to recite their vows. Clarissa went first, grabbing Logan's hands forcefully in her own. He watched as her lips moved but he couldn't hear the words she was saying. He didn't want to.

"Stop" he whispered to her trying to pull his hands out of hers. She wasn't picking up on the hint. "Please just stop."

"WHAT LOGAN!" She screamed out to the whole congregation causing a scene. "WHAT ARE YOU DOING?"

"I just…think that…we're…not…" Logan stammered out in another whisper.

"We're not what Logan?" She seethed.

"We're not...ready…for this. I'm not ready for this." He stated only to be rewarded with a hard slap across the face.

"Never speak to me again Logan Mitchell!" Clarissa shrieked as she ran off down the aisle; her entire family spilling out into the aisle to follow her.

"Sorry folks, doesn't look like there's going to be a wedding. The reception will still be on if you all want to head on over now, it'd be a shame to let all that free food go to waste." Logan announced to the confused guests. He didn't stick around long enough to explain before taking refuge in the minister's chambers where he got ready earlier that morning.

"Logan, we need to talk to you. Now." Kendall said opening the door to find Logan sitting solemnly in a chair that sat in the corner of the room. Kendall led the mini parade of friends that came to check up on Logan.

"What happened?" Carlos asked.

"Have you seen Camille?" Logan asked in response.

"Um no, she kind of left during the middle of the ceremony," Stephanie admitted. Everyone's faces turned on her. "I thought she was going to the bathroom but she never came back. Sorry" She defended.

"I'll try to call her and find out where she is." Jo offered stepping out of the room. Stephanie followed behind to let the guys have some alone time.

"Dude, what's going on? Not that we aren't happy to see you call off the wedding but what happened?" James asked.

Logan was taken aback at James' confession, but didn't let that stop him from not explaining himself. "I need to talk to Camille."

"Still in love with her aren't you?" Kendall asked rhetorically.

"And when did you have this moment of clarity?" James asked but still didn't get an answer.

"Look I have to do something guys, I'll meet you all at the reception." Logan said heading for the back entrance.

"Wait you're still going to the reception?" Carlos piped in.

"Yes" Logan answered before walking out the door.

Logan made the short walk to the park that was located just behind the church. It once belonged to the catholic school that used to be there but after it was closed down the park became a public area for the people of that small town. He took a seat on one of the benches to clear his head. After half an hour children and their parents began swarming the park and ruined his peaceful thinking area. He began the journey back.

He grabbed his belongings from the minister's chambers and walked back into the church expecting to see it empty. It wasn't. In one of the middle pews there was a girl who Logan recognized as Camille. She hadn't seen him yet and Logan couldn't understand how. The pounding of his heart was so loud at the moment he was surprised that he could hear his own incoherent thoughts.

He gradually made his way over to the pew she was in and she still hadn't detected his presence. Her head was hung low as if in prayer. He sat down beside her and watched as the creak of the wood startle her out of her reverie.

I'm sitting alone in the church waiting for Jo to come pick me up; after she called me frantic about where I had disappeared to. I told her to give me a little alone time before picking me up at the church. I came back just in time that everyone had already left for the party and I could sulk in solitary. I glanced at the clock on my phone and figured that my half hour was up and Jo would be calling any minute now to say she was here. I think I reached that state of numbness where it doesn't hurt anymore and I think I'm alright with that. I'll get over it eventually anyway, I hope. I hear the bench creak and I look up to see Logan sitting next to me, still in his tux from the wedding.

"Logan what are you still doing here?" I ask still clearly petrified at his sudden appearance. He doesn't answer me; instead he leans towards me and kisses me as if it's the most natural thing for a married man to do with someone who he isn't married to. But I'm not that kind of girl so I push him off and demand an explanation.

"Logan, you can't just do that to me! You're married; married for an hour no less!" I start ranting.

"Camille!" He cries out to stop me from launching a full scale attack. "I'm not married." He admits flashing his ring less hands in my face. I grab them and see for my own two eyes that indeed there is no shiny wedding band on either of his ring fingers. And now I can feel myself getting happy again.

"But why?" I ask trying not to get too far ahead of myself.

"I wasn't happy." He sees me and knows that his answer confuses me. "You know, Clarissa never once asked me if I was happy. And you did. It's then that I realized that I may have been wrong."

"May have?" he ignores my chide and continues explaining.

"Then during the ceremony I found myself wishing for you to come in and steal me away. But when I saw that you weren't even there, I knew that I was moments away from the biggest mistake of my life and I couldn't let that happen. So I stopped the wedding. Clarissa smacked me and ran out. And now here we are."

"She smacked you?"

"Yeah, but it wasn't as much fun as when you do it."

I take this as a challenge and raise my hand to strike, he sees it and reacts immediately grabbing my wrist and pulling me into him for another kiss.

The sound of the slamming chamber doors jar us out of it as the minister informs us that our friends were waiting. Logan takes me by the hand as he thanks the guy and pulls me towards the exit laughing to himself.

We made it outside to see we had an audience. Jo, Kendall, Stephanie, Carlos and James were waiting on the sidewalk as we exited the church. They looked like they wanted to ask questions but our smiles were answer enough I guess as they pushed us towards the cars.

**AN: So I'm done. This is it, and I hope no one is disappointed. I worked hard on this for the past couple of months too so I hope it does show even if you had to wait so long. okay so I'm done babbling now. It's 2 AM and my bed is calling my name.**

**Review? {lessthanthree}**


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